It’s your birthday.
I came down from the stars and I’m here to say,
“Hey, Jacky! It’s your birthday…
– bad personalized Hallmark song from the late 70s, which was packaged on a 45 (that’s an old-fashioned audio capture, kind of like a CD, kids).
I saved up a while to buy it for my brother’s birthday, because I believed it was the coolest gift ever. …Actually, it still is the coolest! Who wants a video-playing iPod when you can have a warped record of some dorky Vaudvillian dude singing a nonsensical song? Much like the ghost in “Family Circus”, I have to say: NOT ME!
I’d like to wish a very happy (and inexpensive) birthday to my brother, Jack, who is older than I am. Much older. I mean, insanely, amazingly, shockingly, you-can’t-possibly-have-the-same-parents older.