Hey, Jacky!

Hey, Jacky

It’s your birthday.

I came down from the stars and I’m here to say,

“Hey, Jacky! It’s your birthday…


– bad personalized Hallmark song from the late 70s, which was packaged on a 45 (that’s an old-fashioned audio capture, kind of like a CD, kids).

I saved up a while to buy it for my brother’s birthday, because I believed it was the coolest gift ever. …Actually, it still is the coolest! Who wants a video-playing iPod when you can have a warped record of some dorky Vaudvillian dude singing a nonsensical song? Much like the ghost in “Family Circus”, I have to say: NOT ME!

I’d like to wish a very happy (and inexpensive) birthday to my brother, Jack, who is older than I am. Much older. I mean, insanely, amazingly, shockingly, you-can’t-possibly-have-the-same-parents older.


He’s old.



Filed under Personal Silliness

2 responses to “Hey, Jacky!

  1. Gotta love those graphic arts from way back!

  2. Jack F

    I’m not THAT old, thank you very much. Why, back in my day we’d never allow some whippersnapper to make comments about, um. Hold on.

    Miss, I said “no onions” with this liver. It’s almost 4:45pm – how long does a man need to wait for someone to get his meal right?

    Anyway, like I was saying, Frank Rizzo was a man that knew how to get things done. If you need to get a ticket fixed, all you had to do was stop by McShanes Tavern on Torresdale Avenue and talk to Whitey at the end of the bar. He would…. What?

    Look, I still want the bacon. I just don’t want quite as many onions as you’ve got here. The onions are fine, just make sure they’re mixed in with the bacon.

    I just noticed that my old classmates look more and more like Carl Reiner every day. But that’s no reason to … umm … What was I talking about?

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