Well, Excuuuuuuuuse Me!!

Now that things are starting to settle down in my life a bit, I think it’s time for a good ol’ fashioned rant.

Today’s topic: Rude People

This one is squarely in my top 5 of all-time pet peeves, along with dangerous drivers, coffee breath, painter’s pants jeans, and Jenna Elfman’s eyebrows. Now, there are many ways in which rudeness manifests itself, but today I’m going to focus on just one teeny tiny little facet.

Picture if you will, a lovely California afternoon. The sky is blue, the birds are singing, the bad drivers are on hour 2 of their attempt to parallel park in the no parking zone in front of Starf*cks, and I am enjoying a relaxing stroll around the park with my beloved. Ahead, we see another young couple walking towards us. As we approach, they make it clear that their path is not to be swayed and, in an attempt to avoid a mid-walk collision, my man and I have to make a quick duck off the path and into the dirt. The other couple says nothing, doesn’t even look at us in fact, and continues on their way without acknowledgement.

ARGH! This is exactly the sort of thing that happens to me DAILY!

I lose my shit every time someone invades my personal space in some manner and then refuses to say, “excuse me”.  It happens at the market, it happens at the mall, it happens at the airport. People just walk right into my path or cut across me to get to something they want, without so much of a “pardon”, a “sorry”, a nod! A *nod*, for crying out loud!

A few months ago, I decided that enough was enough. My new response in situations of this sort is to yell “EXCUSE ME!!” in a loud, crisp voice (usually in a sing-songy tone which allows me to retain my obvious sweet, demure persona). This was a line extension to my repertoire of Captain Obvious social reflexes, which also includes my response to pungent body odor (I hold my nose and say “Oh, God! Ugh!” I’m thinking about adding a little “Sacre bleu!” for my European friends who assault my sensibilities during my travels abroad).

So, I don’t know what the answer is to my problem. Will things change when I move to a smaller city? Is it just that I notice more now because I’m older and crankier? Sheesh. How does Judith Martin manage to get through the day without becoming a total rummy?

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2 Comments

Filed under Rants

2 responses to “Well, Excuuuuuuuuse Me!!

  1. OMG! I sooooo hate that too! You hit the nail right on the head. The mall is THE worst All that room and they can’t step aside, and even brush you with their shoulders. Just trip them. lol

  2. Evan

    The next time it happens turn and walk back to them with your hand closed palm up and say

    “Excuse me. I think you dropped this. It’s your common courtesy.”

    If they’re still standing there aghast, mime with the other hand tweezing this miniscule object from your open hand and inspect it closely and go

    “No. Wait. This looks more like … Oh. That’s your gratitude. Sorry!” and hold out your imaginary tweezers. If they don’t mime taking it, let it go as if it were a dandylion seed and watch it float up over their shoulders and down the street. Dust off your hands and about face.

    Try and get it on film too ’cause I want to see you do it!

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