Monthly Archives: August 2008

Welcome HOme!


I came home from work last night, arms heavy with supermarket bags, ears heavy with Mom chatting on the Bluetooth, and saw a flyer on my door. The flyer said:

Dear resident,

As you might be aware, San Jose police investigators have made an arrest connected to prostitution that allegedly occurred at our apartment community. …

Wait. What?

I put down the bags and re-read the first sentence. Prostitution. Here?

My apartment complex is a lovely, sprawling village community, populated mostly by young families. Many are engineers from India, China, Taiwan, and Japan who work in the tech industry. It’s not exactly the sort of place you’d expect to see prostitution. Caffeine addiction, yes. Prostitution, no.

So what’s the dillio? While I’m not 100% sure this news item is related to the flyer, I’m going to say it’s probably a pretty good guess. Check this craziness out:

Calif. Principal Accused Of Running Brothel


POSTED: 2:28 pm PDT August 18, 2008
A four-month long investigation led to the arrest of a San Francisco high school assistant principal and a second person on charges that they operated a brothel in the South Bay, police said Monday.


On Aug. 8, the San Jose Police Vice Unit concluded its investigation of two alleged brothels in San Jose, police said. Search warrants were issued at the suspected brothel in San Jose along with the suspect’s residences in Milpitas and San Francisco, police said.


Police said they seized evidence of a pimping, pandering and prostitution ring from all three locations, including a high rent San Jose apartment complex, and two main suspects were taken into custody for felony pimping and pandering.


Gerald Courtney, 57, who is the assistant principal at Galileo High School in San Francisco, was arrested along with Hsiu Hwa Chou, 41, police said. Two other suspects were taken into custody on charges of misdemeanor prostitution violations, police said.


Police said Chou obtained the apartment leases and created Internet postings advertising the brothel.


No minors, students or other school officials from the San Francisco Unified School District were involved in the alleged prostitution ring, police said.
Pimpcipal! I’m all for making a little extra cash, but couldn’t he just wait tables at TGIFridays’ or something?
Mr. DT told me that he saw a Hummer parked in front of one of the newer buildings in our complex with (I’m quoting here) “a bunch of slutty chicks getting out”. Nice.
I don’t know if these were pros or just random “slutty chicks”, but it is a big fat reminder that we need to get the hell out of this state. Twelve years of California is more than enough punishment for anyone.  This site will show you the lovely homes available for your heard-earned buck in NoCal. The 2 bdr shack is $1.1m but you have to provide your own hookers. Hopefully, by this time next year we’ll be lazing in rocking chairs on a wrap-around porch overlooking our five acres of land in a big-ass New England house. I can’t wait. California is dead to me.
I officially quit this bitch!


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That’s right. Hands off my man!

Scarlett Johannsson in no rush to wed Ryan Reynolds

August 12, 2008 07:44 AM / BANG Showbiz

The ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’ actress, who announced her engagement to the Canadian star in May, insists she is happy being “young and engaged” for now.

She told US TV talk show host Jay Leno: “We’re just enjoying our time. We are just recently – very recently – engaged. So we are just taking it easy. And there is no big plan yet.

“I mean, I’m 23. There is no reason to rush into it. Everything feels very natural and relaxed.”

Last week, Scarlett revealed she was considering paying homage to Ryan’s home country by wearing a beaver crown when they tie the knot.

When she was asked if she would consider wearing the unique headgear, Scarlett replied: “OK, that’s creepy – an animal on my head. If it’s alive, maybe. Um, I guess so. I don’t know! I’ll take it!”

Scarlett and Ryan have been dating for more than a year.

What in the blazing hell is “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”? Is that a “Dora the Explorer” character?

Ah, who cares? The important part is that the big hoo-hoo girl is trying to wage a pre-emptive strike before Ry lowers the boom on her and kicks her pasty arse to the curb. He clearly cannot compromise and settle for a chick who probably does her best acting in Woody Allen’s handy-dreams. No, Ry can’t help what he feels for me and probably told her so, which is why she’s blathering this nonsense to The Chin.

Ok, Ryan, I’ll let you be my back-up boyfriend again. Just don’t go wearing things like this ever again if you want to stay in my good graces. You’ve been warned.


“Beaver crown”. That’s just way too easy of a joke….

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Filed under Ramblings

Well, Excuuuuuuuuse Me!!

Now that things are starting to settle down in my life a bit, I think it’s time for a good ol’ fashioned rant.

Today’s topic: Rude People

This one is squarely in my top 5 of all-time pet peeves, along with dangerous drivers, coffee breath, painter’s pants jeans, and Jenna Elfman’s eyebrows. Now, there are many ways in which rudeness manifests itself, but today I’m going to focus on just one teeny tiny little facet.

Picture if you will, a lovely California afternoon. The sky is blue, the birds are singing, the bad drivers are on hour 2 of their attempt to parallel park in the no parking zone in front of Starf*cks, and I am enjoying a relaxing stroll around the park with my beloved. Ahead, we see another young couple walking towards us. As we approach, they make it clear that their path is not to be swayed and, in an attempt to avoid a mid-walk collision, my man and I have to make a quick duck off the path and into the dirt. The other couple says nothing, doesn’t even look at us in fact, and continues on their way without acknowledgement.

ARGH! This is exactly the sort of thing that happens to me DAILY!

I lose my shit every time someone invades my personal space in some manner and then refuses to say, “excuse me”.  It happens at the market, it happens at the mall, it happens at the airport. People just walk right into my path or cut across me to get to something they want, without so much of a “pardon”, a “sorry”, a nod! A *nod*, for crying out loud!

A few months ago, I decided that enough was enough. My new response in situations of this sort is to yell “EXCUSE ME!!” in a loud, crisp voice (usually in a sing-songy tone which allows me to retain my obvious sweet, demure persona). This was a line extension to my repertoire of Captain Obvious social reflexes, which also includes my response to pungent body odor (I hold my nose and say “Oh, God! Ugh!” I’m thinking about adding a little “Sacre bleu!” for my European friends who assault my sensibilities during my travels abroad).

So, I don’t know what the answer is to my problem. Will things change when I move to a smaller city? Is it just that I notice more now because I’m older and crankier? Sheesh. How does Judith Martin manage to get through the day without becoming a total rummy?


Filed under Rants

Movie quote of the day


You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
I’ve seen ’em do it, man. They fuckin’ drown ’em in that shit.

– Vincent Vega tells Jules about Dutch dietary predilictions (For the record, they charged me 30 euro-cents for ketchup at McDonalds in Amsterdam this weekend, plus shot me a dirty look probably for not using mayo on my fries.)

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Where’s Di?

Yeah, yeah…. I know. I have been MIA again. Since I like having nice things, like food, I have been giving my paycheck-payers a little higher priority than my non-paying internet dickery.

I’m writing this to you from the Amersterdam Airport, waiting for the world’s biggest friggin plane to load. Good lord. How is that thing going to get off the ground? I’d feel safer flying on a terodactyl’s back, Flintstones style.

Well, assuming they can get this heap in the air, I will be back to share my usual nonsense soon. Until then, amuse yourself by reading the phone book or something.

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Filed under Ramblings