On March 26, 2008, various media outlets reported that Dr Pepper will offer a free can of Dr Pepper to everyone in America — excluding former Guns N’ Roses guitarists Buckethead and Slash — if the band releases Chinese Democracy in 2008. Later on March 26, Rose replied to Dr Pepper on Guns N’ Roses’ official website and spoke of his surprise at Dr Pepper’s support. Rose also said he would share his Dr Pepper with Buckethead as “some of Buckethead’s performances are on [Chinese Democracy]”. Dr Pepper, however, has not publicly acknowledged any of the rumors of support for this album. [Source]
LOL. Buckethead. I love that. Buckethead is apparently some random guitarist who played with G+R for a while. Guess who replaced him? Bumblefoot!! OMG. You can’t make that kind of comedy up, y’all!
So, by now, everyone has probably heard that the groovy marketing department at Dr. Pepper has offered a free can of their sugar swill to everyone in the US if Axl will take time out from his busy plastic surgery and cornrow schedule to finish this supposed masterpiece that the band began in 1994. Supposedly, some tracks do exist but all I can see is that they have a catchy title for the stupid album and I kind of doubt it’s going to be any good even if Axl gets off his flabby pale arse and finishes it. I know. I’m one of the few people who bought “Spaghetti Incident”. Egads, that was awful.
However, I do like Dr. Pepper. Add a little rum and I can sit through any lame “masterpiece” Axl can dish out. Ok. Maybe alot of rum.
Don’t go running to Vegas to put any odds on this mess being released in 2008. Princess Axl has thrown press releases on the wire in the past saying it was nearly ready. And still we wait with (not so) baited breath. China will actually BE a democracy before this crap is in a Walmart near you.
BTW, just wanted to note this about Axl Rose: ever notice that he stole Davy Jones’ sway dance? You know, the one he does on “The Monkees” when he’s singing that stupid song about the bluebird waking him up or some such nonsense? Always annoyed me that Axl lifted that dance, then had the nerve to do it in a kilt. Thieving bastard.
In other Dr. Pepper news, what’s up with David “I’m a Pepper” Naughton getting busted for domestic battery? Was it the sugar that got to him? The fact that he has werewolf blood? Or was it just his bad satin jacket in the “Makin’ It” video? Damn. I had a satin jacket too. Pink with a roller skate on the back. I’m very angry that it’s not in style now because it was the bomb. Makes me feel violent…like maybe I should go challenge Axl to a muy Thai battle to the death. Don’t mess with Davy Jones.