This was in my mail this morning, along with the usual haul of angel & kitten chain-mails and Viagra offers. I thought it was kinda chuckle-worthy. …Shut up! This is the best I can do at 8 in the morning without a second cup of coffee.
2008 Democratic Convention Agenda
7:00 pm – Opening flag burning
7:20 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm – Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm – Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm – How I Invented the Internet – Al Gore
8:35 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm – Our Troops are War Criminals – John Kerry
9:00 pm – Saddam Memorial Rally – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11:00 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm – Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund – Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm – Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn
11:30 pm – Oval Office Affairs – William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm – How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers – Howard Dean & Rosie O’Donnell
12:15 am – ‘Truth in Broadcasting Award’ – Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am – Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am – Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am – Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of ‘the great Satan’, ‘W’ Bush
1:00 am – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican Party.
1:05 am – Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am – Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home
(Thanks, Loly!)