My backup boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds, is trying his best to make me quit him. The doofy K-Fed hat, the third-grader red shoes and matching Garanimals belt, and…the dog. The little dog. WTF.
Ryan, if you wanted to break-up with me you should just call or maybe take me some place public so we can end it in a dignified manner. Preferably over $300 sushi at Nobu.
This little fashion nightmare isn’t enough to stop me from stalking you. You’ll have to do better than that. Wrangler jeans, a Nascar trucker hat, and a fat gut might do the trick, however…
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