PerezHilton posted a few excerpts from Spin Magazine that features Michael Stipe’s comments about coming out as a homosexual. I have this to say:
1. When exactly did he come out? I don’t remember that news. Maybe it’s because REM is no longer relevant. Oh, snap!
2. Who didn’t already know he was gay? I had a friend in college who swore that he woke up in his dorm room once to see Stipe and his roommate getting it on after a concert. Nobody believed him except me. The guy just looked too scarred to be called a liar. But the big “proof” of Stipe being hetero was that he was supposedly dating Natalie Merchant from 10,000 Maniacs. If he wasn’t already gay or bi, that crazy chick would have driven him to the other team.
3. Does anyone care anymore? I mean, if you’re gay be gay. Sure, it’s sad to lose a hot piece like Neil Patrick Harris, but I’m not going to miss Michael Stipe. Or Lance Bass, for that matter. The straight female delegation officially gives them both to you, my gay brothers.
4. Ryan Reynolds used to date Alanis Morrisette and now he’s supposedly seeing Scarlett Johansson. Neither of those chicks can match his hotness, in my humble opinion. So I’m worried they could be smoke screen. If Ryan suddenly announces he’s gay, I will lock myself in the bathroom and cry for a whole week. The only way he can prove he’s straight is if he personally demonstrates his straightness to me. Ryan, my door and hot tub are open to you…