Big brain. No taste.

The chairman of Mensa International recently took a break from being a his strenuous duties of attempting to impress people at parties with ridiculous factoids to name the top ten smartest television shows of all time. Here are his picks. I’m going to suspend commentary until you’ve had a chance to absorb it all…

  • “M*A*S*H”
  • “Cosmos” (with Carl Sagan)
  • “CSI”
  • “House”
  • “West Wing”
  • “Boston Legal”
  • “All in the Family”
  • “Frasier”
  • “Mad About You”
  • “Jeopardy”

Ok. Done absorbing? Good. Now let’s start shredding.

Before my brain explodes like the guy from “Scanners”, I have to get this one out: “MAD ABOUT YOU”?? WTF?? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry seeing that listing there. That one little entry made me want to run into the kitchen and suck down cheap cooking sherry just to mellow the hell out.

Next up is “Cosmos”. This tells me A. the Mensa guy drives Prius with a bumper sticker that says “I’m saving the environment and you’re not”, B. the Mensa guy wants to impress everyone with his Mensafication, C. the Mensa guy has never actually seen “Cosmos” because it’s on at the same time as “Married with Children”.

“M*A*S*H”… Oh sorry. I fell asleep just thinking of that boring-ass show. Hawkeye is such a putz. The fact that he ever got laid in Korea makes it obvious that this is a completely fictional show (and that Alan Alda had a hand in writing the script).

I’m ok with some of the other shows up there like “CSI”, but I wouldn’t call it “the smartest show ever made”, especially when the franchise is so formulaic. However, that wacky ginge David Caruso does have such wonderful comedic acting skills. Wait, you mean “CSI Miami” is not supposed to be a comedy?

The only show I see on that list which I personally think was fresh, ground-breaking, and culturally relevant is “All in the Family”. It’s still funny and shocking even 30 years later. It’s also the oldest program on this list. Clearly, Mensa man is not aware that other television shows were made before 1970.

One blatent omission is that masterpiece of fine art, “The Geena Davis Show”. He really dissed his fellow Mensa comrade on that one. And what about “Sara”? Maybe I should be a Mensa member because I have a long enough memory to remember that mess.  

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