The “Flavor of Love 3” audition special was on last night. OMG. I can hardly contain my sick glee. If they had even one of the crazies from that special on the new season, we are in for some damn fine programming.
I’ve been feeling sort of rootless since “I Love NY 2” ended a couple of months ago. I’m digging “Celebrity Rehab”, but mostly because I love hearing Jeff Conway detoxing & screaming at shadows. I also have had a minor crush on Dr. Drew Pinsky since seeing him at the airport 10 years ago. He had the most perfect skin I’ve ever seen on a man — as well as a huge pile of matching Louis Vuitton luggage, which gets my motor revved every time. He’s also got some nice guns under that black t-shirt he wears sometimes. … whew. ok. I’m back now.
“Brett Michaels Rock of Love” just doesn’t do it for me. Believe me, I’ve tried to like it. He seems like a nice enough guy, but the phony bandana and jewelry just aren’t working. Oh, and he claims to be 40. 40?? Please. That guy was halfway to Social Security when I was still in high school. But the thing that really tore it for me is that he cut Angelique, the trannylicious French porn actress (sidebar: why do people call a porn actress a porn star? you wouldn’t call a movie extra a star, would you? just making a point…). Why why why would you get rid of your only ratings booster? Bah. The rest of them are like over tattooed homeless alley cats to me. Blech.
So I’ve finally got Flav back. Joy of joys! Who needs writers? Besides, they have to be enjoying the picket line because Eva Longoria and other press-hungry Hollywood chicks always seem to be bringing them Krispy Kremes in low-cut dresses. Now if only I could have Angelique on Flavor of Love. But maybe I’m just getting greedy by dreaming so big.