He went to Jared!!!

Valentine’s Day is just a few days away. For all you guys who plan to propose to your lady, I’d like to offer a little piece of romantic advice:

If you don’t go to Jared, you’re screwed. Her family will never accept you and she’ll always look down at you like the cheap bastard you are.

I worked in a discount shoe store at the mall when I was like 17. The assistant manager was a very classy chick about a year older than me who was a student at Barbizon. Her boyfriend proposed to her and she threw the ring back at him because she wanted something classier — a big rock with a band shaped like a dolphin. Zexxy! I wonder how that modeling gig worked out for her….

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