Welcome HOme!

(source)

I came home from work last night, arms heavy with supermarket bags, ears heavy with Mom chatting on the Bluetooth, and saw a flyer on my door. The flyer said:

Dear resident,

As you might be aware, San Jose police investigators have made an arrest connected to prostitution that allegedly occurred at our apartment community. …

Wait. What?

I put down the bags and re-read the first sentence. Prostitution. Here?

My apartment complex is a lovely, sprawling village community, populated mostly by young families. Many are engineers from India, China, Taiwan, and Japan who work in the tech industry. It’s not exactly the sort of place you’d expect to see prostitution. Caffeine addiction, yes. Prostitution, no.

So what’s the dillio? While I’m not 100% sure this news item is related to the flyer, I’m going to say it’s probably a pretty good guess. Check this craziness out:

Calif. Principal Accused Of Running Brothel

 

POSTED: 2:28 pm PDT August 18, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO — A four-month long investigation led to the arrest of a San Francisco high school assistant principal and a second person on charges that they operated a brothel in the South Bay, police said Monday.

 

On Aug. 8, the San Jose Police Vice Unit concluded its investigation of two alleged brothels in San Jose, police said. Search warrants were issued at the suspected brothel in San Jose along with the suspect’s residences in Milpitas and San Francisco, police said.

 

Police said they seized evidence of a pimping, pandering and prostitution ring from all three locations, including a high rent San Jose apartment complex, and two main suspects were taken into custody for felony pimping and pandering.

Gerald Courtney, 57, who is the assistant principal at Galileo High School in San Francisco, was arrested along with Hsiu Hwa Chou, 41, police said. Two other suspects were taken into custody on charges of misdemeanor prostitution violations, police said.

 

Police said Chou obtained the apartment leases and created Internet postings advertising the brothel.

 

No minors, students or other school officials from the San Francisco Unified School District were involved in the alleged prostitution ring, police said.

 

Pimpcipal! I’m all for making a little extra cash, but couldn’t he just wait tables at TGIFridays’ or something?

 

Mr. DT told me that he saw a Hummer parked in front of one of the newer buildings in our complex with (I’m quoting here) “a bunch of slutty chicks getting out”. Nice.

 

I don’t know if these were pros or just random “slutty chicks”, but it is a big fat reminder that we need to get the hell out of this state. Twelve years of California is more than enough punishment for anyone.  This site will show you the lovely homes available for your heard-earned buck in NoCal. The 2 bdr shack is $1.1m but you have to provide your own hookers. Hopefully, by this time next year we’ll be lazing in rocking chairs on a wrap-around porch overlooking our five acres of land in a big-ass New England house. I can’t wait. California is dead to me.

 

I officially quit this bitch!

That’s right. Hands off my man!

Scarlett Johannsson in no rush to wed Ryan Reynolds

August 12, 2008 07:44 AM / BANG Showbiz

The ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’ actress, who announced her engagement to the Canadian star in May, insists she is happy being “young and engaged” for now.

She told US TV talk show host Jay Leno: “We’re just enjoying our time. We are just recently - very recently - engaged. So we are just taking it easy. And there is no big plan yet.

“I mean, I’m 23. There is no reason to rush into it. Everything feels very natural and relaxed.”

Last week, Scarlett revealed she was considering paying homage to Ryan’s home country by wearing a beaver crown when they tie the knot.

When she was asked if she would consider wearing the unique headgear, Scarlett replied: “OK, that’s creepy - an animal on my head. If it’s alive, maybe. Um, I guess so. I don’t know! I’ll take it!”

Scarlett and Ryan have been dating for more than a year.

What in the blazing hell is “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”? Is that a “Dora the Explorer” character?

Ah, who cares? The important part is that the big hoo-hoo girl is trying to wage a pre-emptive strike before Ry lowers the boom on her and kicks her pasty arse to the curb. He clearly cannot compromise and settle for a chick who probably does her best acting in Woody Allen’s handy-dreams. No, Ry can’t help what he feels for me and probably told her so, which is why she’s blathering this nonsense to The Chin.

Ok, Ryan, I’ll let you be my back-up boyfriend again. Just don’t go wearing things like this ever again if you want to stay in my good graces. You’ve been warned.

 

“Beaver crown”. That’s just way too easy of a joke….

Well, Excuuuuuuuuse Me!!

Now that things are starting to settle down in my life a bit, I think it’s time for a good ol’ fashioned rant.

Today’s topic: Rude People

This one is squarely in my top 5 of all-time pet peeves, along with dangerous drivers, coffee breath, painter’s pants jeans, and Jenna Elfman’s eyebrows. Now, there are many ways in which rudeness manifests itself, but today I’m going to focus on just one teeny tiny little facet.

Picture if you will, a lovely California afternoon. The sky is blue, the birds are singing, the bad drivers are on hour 2 of their attempt to parallel park in the no parking zone in front of Starf*cks, and I am enjoying a relaxing stroll around the park with my beloved. Ahead, we see another young couple walking towards us. As we approach, they make it clear that their path is not to be swayed and, in an attempt to avoid a mid-walk collision, my man and I have to make a quick duck off the path and into the dirt. The other couple says nothing, doesn’t even look at us in fact, and continues on their way without acknowledgement.

ARGH! This is exactly the sort of thing that happens to me DAILY!

I lose my shit every time someone invades my personal space in some manner and then refuses to say, “excuse me”.  It happens at the market, it happens at the mall, it happens at the airport. People just walk right into my path or cut across me to get to something they want, without so much of a “pardon”, a “sorry”, a nod! A *nod*, for crying out loud!

A few months ago, I decided that enough was enough. My new response in situations of this sort is to yell “EXCUSE ME!!” in a loud, crisp voice (usually in a sing-songy tone which allows me to retain my obvious sweet, demure persona). This was a line extension to my repertoire of Captain Obvious social reflexes, which also includes my response to pungent body odor (I hold my nose and say “Oh, God! Ugh!” I’m thinking about adding a little “Sacre bleu!” for my European friends who assault my sensibilities during my travels abroad).

So, I don’t know what the answer is to my problem. Will things change when I move to a smaller city? Is it just that I notice more now because I’m older and crankier? Sheesh. How does Judith Martin manage to get through the day without becoming a total rummy?

Movie quote of the day

 

You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
What?
Mayonnaise.
Goddamn.
I’ve seen ‘em do it, man. They fuckin’ drown ‘em in that shit.

- Vincent Vega tells Jules about Dutch dietary predilictions (For the record, they charged me 30 euro-cents for ketchup at McDonalds in Amsterdam this weekend, plus shot me a dirty look probably for not using mayo on my fries.)

Where’s Di?

Yeah, yeah…. I know. I have been MIA again. Since I like having nice things, like food, I have been giving my paycheck-payers a little higher priority than my non-paying internet dickery.

I’m writing this to you from the Amersterdam Airport, waiting for the world’s biggest friggin plane to load. Good lord. How is that thing going to get off the ground? I’d feel safer flying on a terodactyl’s back, Flintstones style.

Well, assuming they can get this heap in the air, I will be back to share my usual nonsense soon. Until then, amuse yourself by reading the phone book or something.

80s flashback of the day

I think I’ve referenced 80s designer jeans about 5 times today, so it seems apprapos (is that how you spell that word? F it. Let’s just say “fitting”) to salute them in today’s 80s Flashback.

Not only would I still dress like that skinny-ass version Blair Warner wannabe in the commercial, but I fully intend to start doing that hand clap blow-off technique. That would be so kick ass to do to some dork who asks to buy you a drink in a bar. “Bon Jour! Action! Jeans!”

I’m dying to go to work today

 

Labor bureau: Japanese man, 45, died of overwork

By JAY ALABASTER, Associated Press Writer Wed Jul 9, 12:33 PM ET

TOKYO - A Japanese labor bureau has ruled that one of Toyota’s top car engineers died from working too many hours, the latest in a string of such findings in a nation where extraordinarily long hours for some employees has long been the norm.

The man who died was aged 45 and had been under severe pressure as the lead engineer in developing a hybrid version of Toyota’s blockbuster Camry line, said Mikio Mizuno, the lawyer representing his wife. The man’s identity is being withheld at the request of his family, who continue to live in Toyota City where the company is based.

In the two months up to his death, the man averaged more than 80 hours of overtime per month, according to Mizuno.

He regularly worked nights and weekends, was frequently sent abroad and was grappling with shipping a model for the pivotal North American International Auto Show in Detroit when he died of ischemic heart disease in January 2006. The man’s daughter found his body at their home the day before he was to leave for the United States.

The ruling was handed down June 30 and will allow his family to collect benefits from his work insurance, Mizuno said.

An officer at the Aichi Labor Bureau on Wednesday confirmed the ruling, but declined to comment on the record.

In a statement, Toyota Motor Corp. offered its condolences and said it would work to improve monitoring of the health of its workers.

There is an effort in Japan to cut down on deaths from overwork, known as “karoshi.” Such deaths have steadily increased since the Health Ministry first recognized the phenomenon in 1987.

Last year, a court in central Japan ordered the government to pay compensation to Hiroko Uchino, the wife of a Toyota employee who collapsed at work and died at age 30 in 2002. She took the case to court after her application to the local labor bureau for compensation was rejected. (source)

 

Holy Sailor Moon! I thought I worked alot, but these guys win the prize!

If you’ve ever been to Tokyo, you know it’s pretty common to look up at the many office towers and see businessmen still hard at work at 9, 10, or even 11PM.  They are crazy-loco about getting the job done and often will even stay the night in their offices. And, of course, everyone knows the stories about the “capsule hotels”, which are kind of like morgue filing cabinets for commuters who miss the last train out of the city. (Here are pics from one such hotel, located on top of my favorite McDonald’s in the whole world: the Shinjuku Beatles-themed McD’s. “Herp! I need somebawdy! Herp! Not just anybawdy!” They also make a kick-ass Wasabi Cheebugga there. Someday I will get around to posting about my ratings of different McD’s around the world.).

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Karoshi. Sorry, I got all distracted thinking about Japanese fast food outlets. Anyways, the Japanese Department of Health and Labour published a study a while back that said in 2007, “147 workers died, many from strokes or heart attacks, and about 208 more fell severely ill from overwork in the year to March, the highest figure on record and 7.6 percent up from the previous year. Another 819 workers contended they became mentally ill due to overwork, with 205 cases given compensation…. Mentally troubled workers killed themselves or attempted to do so in 176 cases.” Zowie!

I call bull on all this! Or maybe I call “donkatsu“, because it’s much more delicious than bull. As I’ve gotten older I subscribe to the “You load 16 tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt” mindset. I work my ass off to get a decent place to live way out in the suburbs of Tokyo. I have to live in the outskirts because it’s too friggin expensive to afford so much as a closet in the Ginza or Harijuku neighborhoods. Then I have a couple of kids, and they have to go to private schools. Oh, and they need all the creepy Japanese designer clothes. And my wife needs that new LV purse for 180,000 Yen. And I really need a BMW X5. And we need…. blah blah blah. People are working themselves literally to death in Japan (and a few other placs as well) just to afford the basics in life & to show their loyalty to the company, and then it’s to afford a few nice extras and to prove they’re working harder than everyone else, and then it’s to afford to keep a high-lifestyle we all “deserve”,…

I’m out. Deal me the hell out of this stupidity.

And on that depressing note, I need to go get something to eat because for some reason this post has made me hungry and possibly a little light-headed.

Libre! Libre! Libre! Libre!

La Pequena Ingrid Betancourt – !estoy libre!

Movie quote of the day - double shot!

In observance of Independence Day, I offer you not one but TWO movie quotes from a royal American family - the Bouviers. No, not Jackie Bouvier Kennedy. I mean Edie - both Big and Little, my personal style gurus.  Say what you will; they kept it real, y’all.

Edith ‘Little Edie’ Bouvier Beale: You can’t have your cake and eat it, too in life.
Edith ‘Big Edie’ Bouvier Beale: Oh, yes, I did. I did, I had my cake, loved it, masticated it, chewed it and had everything I wanted.

 

Edith ‘Little Edie’ Bouvier Beale: If you can’t get a man to propose to you, you might as well be dead.

- who the hell knows what these two are ever talking about? (Grey Gardens)

Serious news….

Twice yesterday, I had tears in my eyes reading the news. Tears of joy. And tears of utter sadness.

After six dreadful years in captivity, former political candidate Ingrid Betancourt and three American contractors were rescued from their bondage as hostages of Columbia’s FARC rebel regime. I’ve been following this for a long time now, checking in every so often to see if there was news that somehow hadn’t made the US popular news. But the hostages stayed put, apparently the target of amazing torture at the hands of their captors. With the recent fatal heart attack of the guerilla army’s leader, it was clear something was going to happen soon. And it did happen, in the form of a wild rescue by operatives who duped the local rebel faction into delivering all four of the high profile captives as well as their own sadistic leader. My boyfriend asked if Kiefer Sutherland was one of the rescuers because it sounded like some kind of crazy “24″ plot.

The second source of my tears is one I am having trouble writing about. The lifeless body of 12-year-old Brooke Bennett was found dumped not far from her uncle’s home in Vermont. Her uncle and stepfather appear to have been partcipants in an abusive sex ring that targeted young girls. I’ve read of at least two other victims so far who have been attacked by the monsters involved in this sick shit. If there is any kind of justice in the world, the people responsible for hurting these innocent victims will spend their lives in prison with huge uber-violently sadistic rape-happy cellmates. I could rail against the sickness of the world. I could scream in anger about women who expose their kids to dangerous known predators.  But…I can’t think any more on this subject because my stomach is flipping over.

Two examples of victimization. One ends in freedom for the captured. The other ends in a different kind of freedom from the pain. My heartfelt prayers go out for you both.